Little Golden Books
That Never Made It

With the publication of Walter, The Farting Dog (Click on the name if you don't believe me!), one might suspect that there are other books that did not make it. Below are some possible titles of the rejects.

1. Charlotte's Website

2. The Cat That Shat in the Hat: A Kid's Guide to Scatology

3. Chicken Soup for the Kitchen Floor

4. Jacking and Jilling: The Dummy's Guide to Masturbation

5. What The Hell Is Mommy's Problem, Anyway?

6. The Mouse, the Motorcycle, and the Organ Donor Card

7. You're Different -- And All the Other Kids Hate You!

8. The Big Book of Things to Put in Your Ear

9. How to Write With Your Wee-Wee

10. What's That Bag For, Grandpa?

11. Tobacco Man vs. the FDA Gang

12. What Lucy Needs is Some Hot Monkey Love, Charlie Brown

13. Harry Potter and the Allegations of Plagiarism

14. Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in Ms. LeTourneau's Class

15. Horton Hires a Ho

16. Where the Curly Red Fur Grows

17. Yellow Snow and Other Great Recipes: The Kid's Cooking Guide

18. You Are Different and That's Bad

19. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

20. Dad's New Wife Robert

21. Fun Four-letter Words to Know and Share

22. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

23. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking

24. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

25. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

26. All Cats Go to Hell

27. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

28. Some Kittens Can Fly

29. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

30. Grandpa Gets a Casket

31. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

32. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

33. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

34. Strangers Have the Best Candy

35. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

36. You Were an Accident

37. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

38. Pop! Goes The Hamster... And Other Great Microwave Games

39. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan

40. Your Nightmares Are Real

41. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

42. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

43. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

44. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

45. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

46. Father Geoghan and His Little Friends

47. Mr. Rodgers Died to Make You Feel Very Bad

48. Don't Tell Mommy You Have to Potty

49. Elmo Doesn't Love You Anymore

50. Tickle Mommy, Elmo

51. Baggy, the Anorexic Elephant

52. Mike Mulligan and the Cocaine Cartel

53. Paddington Gets Tanked

54. The Little Engine That Couldn't 'Cause He's A Worthless Bum Like Your Father

55. Your Bruises Show How Much Mommy and Daddy Love You

56. Look at Mommy, and She Told Us Not to Suck Our Thumb!

57. Mommy, What Are Those Sores on Daddy's Wee-wee?

58. Lying is Wrong For Everyone Except You

59. Fun Places to Hide Your Little Sister's Dirty Diapers

60. Fun Under the Kitchen Sink

61. Fun With Things A-top Teletubby Heads

62. Fun With the Long Balloons in Daddy's Bedside Drawer

63. How Micheal Jackson Became White

64. Mr. Clean Meets the Kool-Aid Man

65. Dad to Mom: A Picture Book of Your Fertilization

66. Little Zach's Bris

67. How Hotdogs and Sausages Are Made

68. Meet Mr. Nitrous: Fun With Almost-Empty Whipped Cream Cans

69. Cat attack: A Guide to Hunting Household Pets

70. Fun in the Abandoned Mine

71. The little girl who cried rape

72. Curious George and the PS2

73. Anna Nicole and the Seven Suitors

74. The Gruesome Death of Amelia Bedelia