1. We’re in ur perfek luv and trust, bidin ur rede like we must.
2. Dat fud urs, dis fud mine; keep in mind, an all be fine.
3. 3 times round that sirkl pass so evul spiruts CAN NOT HAS.
4. Kittehs wind up spell in ball by speekin it in wurds of LOL.
5. Sofft of paw and grate big ears; do not yowl and u shall heers!
6. Rightpaw round teh biggening moon, kittehs sing teh Witchc@t Roon.
7. Leftpaw round teh smalling moon, kittehs sing teh baneful tune.
8. Lady can has moon of new; kittehs hed-bash her times two.
9. When can has moon full enuf, then can has all sorts of stuff!
10. When North wind come, kitteh, take care! Srsly, iz cold out ther.
11. When South wind to kitteh sing, lov will come an smooches bring.
12. When teh West wind blow the mosts, iz no rest for kitteh ghosts.
13. When teh East wind stir teh air, fill teh bowlz wit fud to share.
14. In metal bukkit, put nine woodz; burn fast or slo, jus burnz em goodz!
15. Teh Elder is teh Lady’s tree. Be respektin it. Srsly.
16. When teh Year-Wheel starts to spin, lite Beltane fire FTW!
17. When Wheel iz turned and Yule is bornz, bow to Teh Ceiling Cat With Hornz.
18. Be respektin leafs and trees, and by teh Lady blessed beez!
19. Ur stone. U fling it. Strong and deft. (In streem, to find out WTF.)
20. When u has need of something moar, avoid kitteh who yowlz “NOT YOURS!”
21. Foolish cat iz foolish. U avoid him, or look foolish too.
22. Oh hai! I’ze purrin. Kthxbai! Warm kitteh heart, bright kitteh eye.
23. Teh Three-Fold Law: respekt it, pliz, cuz good or bad comez back in threez.
24. Misforchun? You has it, just a bit? Mai bloo star. Let me show you it.
25. Dis kitteh r mine, and I’z theyrs too. Keep this srsly 4 troo.
26. Teh Wiccan Rede can has wurds eight: kitteh harm none, do thy will. Thx! Grate!

Copyright ©2008 Elise Matthesen (elise@lioness.net).
Please do not reprint or repost without written permission.