We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile
:( is a frown.

Well, how about some Assicons?

(_!_) Regular ass

(__!__) Fat ass

(!) Tight ass

(_*_) Sore ass

{_!_} Swishy ass

(_o_) Ass that's been around

(_x_) Kiss my ass

(_X_) Leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) Tired ass

(_E=mc2_) Smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

(_,_) Dingleberry

(_ø_) No Ass

(_¤_) Hemorrhoids