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A Pagan Humor Collection

Pagan Humor includes things that relate directly to the
Pagan spiritual lifestyle and sensibilities, plus humorous
topics that are especially appreciated among Pagans.

If you want "politically correct" or "clean" humor,
or something safe to surf quietly at work, leave now.

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Site Contents

• A Modest Proposal (classic satire)
• Amazing Magic Trick!
• Amber And Jet
• Animals
  • A Creation Myth
  • Bears In The Woods
  • Cats
    • Cat Haiku
    • A Cat In Heaven
    • The Ten Catmmandments
    • The Cats' Creation Story
    • Cats! - The Real Show 
    • Cattitude!
    • Caught In The Act
    • Couch Potato
    • Einstein's Theories Of Cat Behavior
    • Antigravity: The Feline Butterology Theory
    • How To Clean A Toilet
    • The Line Cut
    • The LOL Cat Rede
    • Truths About Cats
  • Cows
    • Cow Tracking
    • The History Of The Bovinomicon
    • Bovinomicon: The Nameless Pasture
    • The Politics of Cows
  • Coyote Control
  • Deep Trouble
  • Dinosaurs
    • How the Dinosaurs Became Extinct
  • Dogs
    • The Burglar
    • Dead Puppies (Aren't Much Fun)
    • Dog Haiku
    • Dog Letters to God
    • Puppies
  • How a Camel Gets a Hump
  • Spotted Owls
• Another Helpful Household Hint
• Assicons
• Barbie
  • The Ancient Goddess Barbi
  • New Age Barbies
• Biblical Humor
  • Biblical Ways To Acquire A Wife
  • Childhood Commandments
  • The Companion
  • Creation Computer Dialog
  • Creation Stories
  • Dear Doctor Laura
  • The First Page Of The Bible
  • Genesis and Healthy Eating
  • The Lost Verses Of Genesis
  • Humpty Dumpty: The King James Version
  • PMS in the Bible
  • Raising Kids
  • Three Wise Women
• Body Modification
  • A Devilish Tattoo
  • Extreme Piercing
• Cartoons
  • A Bishop, a Rabbi, and a Mullah
  • The Arkansas Quarter
  • Bambi Meets Godzilla
  • Cartoon Character Personality Test
  • Dick, Jane, and Sally
  • Faith Based Chemistry
  • Thanksgiving For Turkeys
  • The Church of Danae
  • The First Organized Religion
  • The Futility Goddess
  • The Garden of Eden
  • The Real Purpose of Stonehenge
  • User Friendly
    • Cthulhu's XML Lesson
    • Samhain Cartoons
• Charge Of The...
  • Beeotch
  • Credit Card Goddess
  • Gawdess
  • Phone Goddess
  • Redneck Goddess
• Childhood
  • Bedtime Poems for Big Kids
  • Little Golden Books That Never Made It
  • A Note Sent To The Cockpit
• Christianity
  • A Case Of Mistaken Identity
  • Blasphemy
  • Church Attire
  • Christ Among the Leatherpeople
  • Christian Baby Soup
  • Church Bulletins
  • Divine and Diabolical Computing
  • eJesus
  • Episcopalian Jokes
  • Irish Prostitute
  • Jesus Was A ...
  • Keep Christ Out Of Xmas
  • Kissing Hank's Ass
  • Last Rites
  • Let The Church Help
  • Misplaced Deity Sought By Christians
  • Mistaken Assumption
  • Pedophile Priests
  • Plastic Jesus
  • Become A Pope!
  • The Pope And A Rabbi Debate
  • Reasons Why Men Should Not Be Ordained
  • Sunday School Lesson
  • Swearing Mexican Jesus
  • Teen Christian Kit
  • The Mission
• Christmas
  • Dear Santa
  • Elves' Revenge
  • The Day The Elves Won The Lottery
  • A Kudzu Solstice Cartoon
  • Perverted Carols
  • Plastic Christmas
  • Politically Correct Holiday Greetings
  • Santa: Man or Myth?
  • Santa's Wisdom Teachings
  • The Twelve Days Of Cristmas
• Coffee
  • Praise To Caffeina
  • The Caffienated Cross
• Comparative Religion
  • The KKK And Asatru
  • Bathing
  • Children, Pull Out Your Chickens
  • Field Guide To NeoPaganism
  • Idiotic Religious Rivalries
  • The Man On The Bridge
  • We Are The Other People
  • A Pagan In Hell
  • Pagans In Heaven
  • Religious Real Estate
  • Religious Truths
  • Science vs. Intelligent Design
  • Star Trek Guide to Neo-Paganism
  • The Christians and the Pagans
  • The Neo-Pagan and The Reconstructionist
  • Walking On Water
  • Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
• A Daily Prayer
• Death
  • Marriage in Heaven
  • Shaggy Duck Story
  • Uncool Ways To Die
  • Zombie Food
• Discordianism
  • Belief Statement Generator
  • Discordian Zen
  • Fun At The Airport
  • Fun Things To Do In An Elevator
  • Fun Things To Do At Wall-Mart
  • McWicca
  • Purple Death
  • The Temple Of Taco Bell
  • Toying With Religion
  • The Weirdness Test
• Divination
  • A Bad Fortune Cookie
  • Fortune Teller Jokes
  • Oreo Cookie Divination
  • Psychic Hotline
  • Redneck Astrological Signs
  • Tarot For Recovering Pagan Fanatics
• Doughnuts: It Really Does Happen!
• Easter
  • The Easter Bunny Gets A Rude Awakening
  • Easter Has Been Cancelled
  • How Easter Eggs Are Made
  • Pagan-Easter Crossover Symbols
• Eldritch Horror
  • Cthulhu
  • Cthulhu For Morons
  • The Lair Of Great Cthulhu
  • No More, No More Cthulhu, Brave Boys
  • Plastic Cthulhu
  • Who Will Be Eaten First?
• Elvis and Godzilla
• Encounter At Sea
• Fashion No-Nos
• Free Amazons of Ghor (PDF download)
• French Intellectuals Join the Fight
• God
  • God Grants A Wish
  • God's Billboards
  • Good News and Bad News
  • Intelligent Creator
  • Interview With God
  • One Nation, Under God
  • Suing God
  • The Hand of the Almighty (God Will Fuck You Up)
  • The Title Search
  • What If God Smoked Cannabis?
• Gods
  • A Converstation Between The God And Goddess
  • Dear [Holly/Oak] King
  • The Duty God
  • The God Of The Month Club
  • The Gods of Knitting
  • The Gods' Questionnaire
  • Lesser Known Gods And Goddess Of Greece
  • Pissing On A God
  • Polytheist Creation Story
  • What Would Your Diety Do?
• Good Advice
• Good Luck
• Hay
• Heaven and Hell
• Holy Grail
• Home Remedies That Really Work
• Homeland Security
• Honestly On The Bum
• How Jerry Springer Could'a Been
• How To...
  • Annoy Wiccans
  • Be A Big Success On Pagan
    Newsgroups And Email Lists
  • Be A Cultist
  • Become A Witch in Nine Easy Lessons
  • Confuse Trick-or-Treaters
  • Effectively Get Rid of Every Sign
  • Know You're a Beserker In Modern Society
  • Make A Magic Wand
  • Not Get Invited Back To A Circle
  • Not Get Invited Back To Church
  • Not Give Back To The Earth
  • Quit An E-mail List
  • Summon Ye Daemon Aleister Crowley
    To Visible Appearance
  • Survive A Camping Trip
  • Tell If Your Cat Is An Alien
• Insanity Test
• Instructions For Your New Device
• Judaism
  • Jewish Buddhism
  • Jewish Haiku
  • Jewish Humor
  • Jews Give Up World Control
  • Moses, the Editor
  • Signs That Your Coworker Didn't
    Strictly Observe the Jewish Holiday
  • The Kvetch Of The Goddess
  • The Chosen People ... Again!
  • The Actor
  • The Original Ten Commandments
  • The Picnic
• The Lesser Banishing Ritual Of...
  • The Casserole
  • The Line Segment
  • The Mother-In-Law
  • The Sequined Pentagram
• Lightbulb Jokes
• Live A Long Life
• Loki's Commandments
• LOTR
  • Frodo Failed!
  • Tips For Surving Lord Of The Rings
• Martha Stewart
  • Martha Stewart's Necromancy
  • Martha Stewart's Pagan Yule
  • Martha Stewart vs. Me
• Men vs. Women
  • Eve's Chat With God
  • A Fairy Tale For Assertive Women
  • The Hermit
  • Irish Joke
  • Lysistrata (The Classic Greek Anti-War Comedy)
  • The Male Answer Syndrome
  • Mammogram Poem
  • Meaningful Things
  • Strength, Ability, And Intelligence
  • This Explains The Difference!
  • Tide With Bleach
  • What Do Women Really Want?
  • Women Compared To Men
• New Age
  • Be An Expert On The New Age In Five Minutes
  • Ineffective Daily Affirmations
• A Real New Age Mouthful
• Training Your Soul Retriever
• New Element Discovered
• Numbers Of The Beast
• Occultism
  • Astral Advertising: A Modern Occult Menace?
  • The Book Of The In-Laws
• Old vs. New Magic
• One-Liners
• Oreo Psycho-Personality Test
• Pagans
  • Cheesy Pickup Lines for Pagans
  • Church Of All Worlds Ten Commandments
  • Druid Member Evaluation
  • Ignorant Pagan Intro Message
  • Letter From A 3rd Grade Teacher
    Sent Home To Pagan Parents
  • Pagan ABCs
  • Pagan Fish
  • Pagan Football
  • Pagan Prayer Time
  • Pagan Public Safety Announcement
  • Pagan Standard Time Clock
  • Ten Reasons Why You Don't Want To Be A Pagan
  • Things You Will Never Hear A Pagan Say
  • Why Do Pagans Make New Year's Resolutions?
  • You Might Be Giving Pagans A Bad Name If ...
• Parody Religions
  • The Betty Crocker Cult
  • The Cheerleader Tradition
  • New Religions
  • Nuddhism
• Perpetual Bubblewrap
• Poetry
  • Address To The Unco Guid
  • The Comic Prayer
  • Mirror, Mirror
  • Naming Of Parts
  • The Smoke-Off
  • What Would Aradia Do?
• Pooh
  • Astrology at Pooh Corner
  • The Coven At Pooh Corner
  • Pooh Goes Apeshit
  • Tigger's Full Moon Ritual
• Puns
• Random Thesis
• Rituals
  • Bare Bones Third Degree Elevation
  • The Initiation Ritual Into The
    Mystery Cult Of Bill The Cat
  • The Ritual Of The Blessed Motherboard
  • The Chocolate Ritual
  • Football As A Fertility Rite
  • Gilligan's Rite
  • Imbolc/Candlemas Ritual
  • Negative Banishing Ritual Of The Esoteric
    Erisian Order of the Python (EEOP)
  • The First Annual Pagan Ritual Pig-Out
  • Ritual Evaluation Form
  • Ritual Meditation And Diet For Stress Reduction
  • Symbolic Great Rite Blessings
  • The Teletubby Beltane Ritual
  • A Weasel Wiccan Witual
• Rudeness
  • Air Travel
  • Bad Attitude
  • Can I Ask You A Question?
  • Dysfunctional Greeting Cards
  • Memo To Hospital Staff
  • Negative People
  • Nuns In Transylvania
  • Overnight Karma
  • Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work
  • Rude Things To Do On Airplanes
• Rules For Being Human
• Samhain
  • Drunk Jack-o-Lantern
  • Halloween Cartoons
  • Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
  • Sam Hain
  • The O'Lanterns
  • Tips for Halloween Survival
  • Trick-or-Treat By Your Astrological Sign
• Scatotheology
• Sex
  • Discipline
  • Electric Sex
  • Important Medical Announcement
  • Incomplete Snowman
  • Stupid Sex Laws
  • The Managed Dominance Plan
  • Things Not To Say During Sex
  • Why Hedgehogs Are Becoming Extinct
  • You Know You're A Horny Pagan If...
• Signs That ...
  • You Are Addicted to Coffee
  • You Have Had Too Much To Drink
  • You May Be A Bubba Wiccan
  • You May Be A Military Pagan
  • You May Be A Pagan
  • You May Be A Redneck Jedi
  • You May Be A Redneck Pagan
  • You May Be A Rocky Horror Fanatic
  • You May Be A TechnoPagan
  • You May Be A Yuppie Pagan
  • You Need More Room For Ritual
  • You're At A Bad Rennaisance Faire
  • You're Facing A "Wannabe"
  • You're In The Wrong Religion
  • You're Watching A Bad Horror Movie
  • Your Cat Is Plotting World Domination
  • Your Child Might Be a Witch
  • Your Coven is Getting Older
  • Your Neighbor Might Be a Witch
  • Your Parent Might Be A Witch
• Some People Are Very Flexible
• Sometimes
• Songs
  • Cowans
  • I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Esoteriscist
  • I Am The Very Model Of An Eclectic Wiccan Pagan
  • I'm A Paganist And I'm OK
  • It's In The Book
  • Loki Loves Me
  • Luang Prabang
  • Ode To The Little Brown Shack
  • St. Patrick's Day Song
  • The Candles Are Blowin' Out Again
  • The Qabalah Boat Song
  • The People Are Scratching
  • The Preacher and the Slave
  • The Valkyrie Song
  • The Vatican Rag
  • They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
  • We Will All Go Together When We Go
  • Woad
• Spells
  • A Flying Spell
  • The Difference Between A Spell Checker And
    A Spelling Checker
  • A Spell To Be Friends With Your Womb
  • Spells That Actually Work
  • Spell To Stop Web Addiction
• Star Wars
  • Darth Hello Kitty
  • Everybody's Free (To Embrace The Dark Side)
• Techno-paganism
  • An E-Mail Note To Hector
  • Bill Gates's Book On Wicca
  • Do It Yourself Weeping Madonna Statue
  • Festival Camping Guide For The Urban Technopagan
  • For the Man Who Has Everything
  • If programming languages were religions...
  • Theological Engineering Exam
  • The Thermodynamics of Hell
  • Things You Wish Your Computer Had
• The Ten Suggestions
• Testa De Cazi
• Things That Make You Go Hmmm
• Top 10 Reasons Why...
  • Athame Handles Are Black
  • Beer Is Better Than Religion
  • Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex
  • Witches Don't Worship Satan
• Tribal Wisdom vs. The Modern Age
• The Triple Filter Test
• The Triple Return Investment Guild
• The Truth About Diets
• Three Gurus
• Way Too Much Information
• Weightlifting - The HARD Way
• What Does A Scotsman Have Under His Kilt?
• Wicca
  • HPS Disease
  • Talkin' Wicca Blues
  • Slacker Wicca: A Short FAQ
  • Weasel Wicca: A Toon Trad
  • W-I-C-C-A
  • Wiccan Aphorisms
  • Wiccan Laws
  • Wiccan Wonderland
  • The Wiccan-Shaman-Druid Song
• Witches
  • Coven Rules
  • Insta-Witch
  • Lady Pixie Moondrip's Guide To Craft Names
  • Mail Order Witchcraft
  • The MWCGGBUMHHWDSSESFGBLW
  • Safe Witch Kit
  • Top 13 Reasons To Become a Witch
  • The Witches Tools
  • You Finally Know You Are A Witch When...
  • You Might Be a Punk Rock Witch If...
• The End

Links Elsewhere

• A Prairie Home Companion: Midsummer Unity Festival
• Beloit College Mindset List (Want to Feel Old?)
• Biblical America Resistance Front (BARF)
• The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
• Chickenhead
• Church Sign Generator
• Cutethulhu
• Darwin Awards
• Dead to Rights
• Despair, Inc.
• Discordian.com (The Church of No Dead Saints)
• Discordian Tarot
• Divine Interventions
• Dogma - The Movie
• The Door - Religious Satire Magazine
• Evil Overlord, Inc.
• Get Your War On!
• God Hates Figs
• The Herbertian Cabal
• If Xmas was a Jewish Holiday...
• International Symbol Tarot
• Jeeeb.us
• Jesus Dress Up
• Ladonia
• Loke E. Coyote's Wiccabilly Circus
• Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
• The Mystical Smokin' Head of 'Bob'
• My Ideal God
• Nancy Button's.com (where all those funny buttons come from)
• Nietzsche Family Circus
• Noah and the Ark (Bill Cosby's classic sketch)
• One Hundred More Commandments
• The Onion
• Pagan Comix
  • Angry Alien Productions
  • Avrey Ant for Pope!
  • Death Crones
  • Dharma The Cat
  • Nine Lives, Many Masters
  • Oh My Gods!
  • Otoons
  • Queen of Wands
  • Witch Trials of Grizelda
• Pagan Library - Humor Section
• Pagan Name Generator
• Parody Religions
  • Betty Bowers - America's Best Christian
  • The Church of the Blind Chihuahua
  • The Church of Conceptual Clarity
  • The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
  • The Church of the Gerbil
  • The Church of the Heavenly Wood
  • Holy Elvis
  • Landover Baptist Church
• Peephenge
• PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals
• Pinstruck: Digital Voodoo
• Pope Peter and the Moon Child
• Postmodernism Generator
• Rapture Letters <- Site badly in need of a parody!
• Satanic Hamster Dance
• Sex In Christ
• Ship-of-Fools.com
• Stuff On My Cat
• Tarot Canada - Tarot & Psychic Humour
• The Cthulhu Circus
• The Sacred and Holy Rite of the Fluffy Bunny Goddess
• The Skeptics Annotated Bible
• Twisted Tunes
• Unitarian Jihad Name Generator
• Videos
  • Every Sperm Is Sacred
  • Timmy's Wish
• Watching You
• Zombie Jesus Day

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